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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Singlutionary's New BFF

So I went and wrote a personals add for a new BFF: Singlutionary's New BFF. Kinda like Paris Hilton's New BFF except that I want: a man, a grown up, someone who likes trees and rocks and nature, has no boobs and might be interested in some physical affection. But the friendship comes first. I am following in the same vein as the blog I wrote about wanting to sleep with the Libertarian

Bosslady told me that the BFFs with benefits is what EVERY guy wants. She also told me that struggling to find peers and make new friends is one of those "welcome to adulthood" things. This was further reinforced when I went on CL to do some research and I found very few posts that were written in grade-7-or-above English much less someone I could really be friends with. 

So, I decided to post my own and see what happened.

I've had 10 responses in 5 hours! Most of which are either illiterate or creepy. Almost all of which are HILARIOUS!  I wish I could post some of the responses here but lets just say that one of the incredibly illiterate ones was written by an elementary school teacher who seemed very upset that some folks can't swim when he takes them out on his boat. I was disturbed that this gent is a TEACHER! 

Then there was a guy who wanted to take a hike on an "obscure" trail. Bosslady told me he might kill me and bury my body in the woods. 

The BEST one so far is addressed to: My Lovely Lady Lumps. It waxes on for eight paragraphs about a whole lot of nothing including the lad's former pot-smoking habits concluding that: "As long as you're not some puritanical bud-hater, we'll be fine."

I love Craigslist! This is the best entertainment I've had all week!


Anonymous said...

THIS is a simultaneously GREAT/crazy experiment! How very funny. I am a (super-secret) fan of Paris's My New BFF (don't tell! super-embarrassing). But the difference here seems to be that you're hoping to find a male BFF, presumably so you can also have "benefits"? I'm a little confused about this (though reading your other recent posts I suspect I understand where you're coming from). All I can suggest is that I hope you stay safe (no obscure trails!), whatever happens.

-- Lisa at Onely

The Singlutionary said...

Yes Lisa Onely! Thanks! I was, at the time, putting feelers out there for a new male best friend. I have lots of female best friends which is partly why I wanted a male. And I wanted a male best friend because I am not particularly interested in an intense long-term relationship and I was toying with the idea of having a new BFF with benefits.

However, none of the responses panned out and I found myself missing match.com's safe system of communication where nobody gets your email address until you want them to!!

Some nice seeming guys did come out of the woodwork but none of them seemed to quite have the stuff my BFFs are made of!