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Monday, March 2, 2009

Singlution Stuckers

I know that I am a self-professed know-it-all when it comes to being single! But there are a few things which I can't seem to work out. There are some places where, for me, the Singlution still gets stuck!

1. Sex. I can't do it alone. Well, I most definitely CAN do it alone (and I do) but having an orgasm isn't the same as sharing an intimate sexual connection with another person. Orgasms are a dime a dozen but intimate sexual connections seem more and more scarce especially as I get older and more selective about my mates.

2. Dates. I love being single and I am satisfied with my life. So why then am I dating? Dating is alternately annoying/brutal/exhausting and exciting/fun. Basically, I want to meet new people and establish new relationships but I don't want them to take over my life. So should I be dating at all? Or should I just be joining civic leagues and hanging out on meetup.com for plutonic relationships? Am I really just looking for sex but calling it dating?

I'm not sure. All I know is that yesterday's date gave me a big ole flare up of the hornies. And there is a big part of me that wishes the the following scenario were totally socially acceptable in our mainstream culture and uncomplicated both romantically and morally:

I call up the dude from yesterday and I say:

Hey. I would love love love to get to know you better but I also know that I am most likely not what you're looking for. You're looking for a future wife who is most likely less rebellious than me and more family oriented than me and who wants to breed and will get all excited about being preggers and squeezing your baby out of her vagina. That isn't me. But I like you. I think you are a wonderful person with an open mind and a giving spirit and you also have a voice and a vibe that totally turns me on. So I'd like to propose that we respectfully and joyfully share each other's company and bodies for a while until you find that non-rebellious breeder to marry at which point we can bittersweetly go separate ways.

I really wish it were that simple. But since I seem to now be attracted to slightly conservative guys over 30 who work a lot, I just don't see my proposal working out. 

So for now, I'm sticking with my sexless stuck-ness and I'll ride out my dating wave until my membership expires.


Welsh Girl said...

the irony is that if you said that, you'd probably have them lining up. I mean isn't that a man's idea of heaven?????

Susan Walsh said...

I think I have to say "go for it." Heck, why not? Sounds to me like it's all upside. You get to hang out with someone who totally turns you on, when you want, and still enjoy the single life!

helovesmenot said...

you just described my life. i think you might be me.