I Have a Crush (and Wish I Didn't)

Gross. I now have a crush on my admirer. I hate having crushes. It is SO un-Singlutionary. Having a crush, for me at least, is also a feeling of longing . . . of not being present in the moment but longing for some future junction when crush-plus-I can ride off into the sunset together. The last thing I want to do right now is ride off into the sunset and/or be swept off in some tidal wave of love. I am here, I am rooted and I am on solid ground. The last thing I want is some massive upheaval which plays out like a traumatic romantic comedy/action flick. I've had enough upheaval in the past year for six dramas, thank you. I like where I am standing and the path that I am on and the last thing I need is to be ducking into the bushes all the time for a quick makeout session. 

What I really want from my favorite admirer is to be friends.

What I really want is mutual admiration. 

And sex. 

If only I believed that were possible, or right, or just-that-simple to have sex with a friend and not have everything go haywire.

I am going running with my favorite admirer tomorrow morning. Maybe if I run fast enough I'll outrun my sex drive and be able to coast back into simple friendship. 

But, despite my annoyance at finding my admirer physically attractive, I am enjoying having a new friend and good company. 

I keep thinking that I need to address the issue of being single and (wanting to have) sex here on Singlutionary. But the truth is that I just haven't figured it out yet. Lisa over at Onely has addressed it quite eloquently and seems to be living proof that un-relationshiped sex can be a positive experience. 

I, personally, am still in a quandary. 

So while I won't be writing about sex, I will be writing about chickens, eggs, insects and the fact that most urban homestead types are seriously coupled and raising humans as well as livestock.