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Saturday, March 14, 2009

All I do is Watch TV: Tough Love

My life seems to be all or nothing. My days are either crazy empty or crazy full. This past week I have had a lot of free time because several projects ended. Also, I am sorta going through an(other) identity crisis since I've decided to take a break from acting and I don't know what to do with myself. All I have ever wanted to do is act. What do I do in the absence of that ambition?

I watch TV.

I saw a preview on VH1 for a new show: Tough Love. Basically these hot girls with various dating issues are sent thought an 8 week course in which they are coached out of their dating dysfunction. Great! I want to hear the honest truth about what guys think. This show sounds like fun. And since I still have another month and a half to go on match.com (my own version of dating bootcamp), I might be able to use the advice.

There are things I love about the show and things I hate. I was able to watch the 1st episode online even though it hasn't premiered yet on TV. I like hearing the truth about the girls from the guys perspective. And I really like how Steve, the matchmaker, seems to be able to genuinely pinpoint the underlying issues each of the women have. At the same time I am constantly creeped out by how young/good looking he is and how these women will all do whatever he says. Its kinda like he has his own harem and he is coaching all of them to be perfect in his eyes. Is this guy really the relationship god? How is HE is relationships? The power dynamic grosses me out. 

Not only that, but unique women need unique men. Aside from learning some social graces, these women simply aren't going to be a match with any guy in the room. 

I see a similarity in between these women and myself. They want to be coached on how to be more effective in dating but at the same time, they know who they are and they don't want to give that up. 

Does anyone else feel that on order to date appropriately, they have to give up a little of their personality, especially if they are a particularly unique individual?

I can't make up my mind if following the dating "rules" is just good manners or if it is some sort of deception. Because if I am just my self from the beginning, I'll eliminate all the men who can't handle me right up front. 

Which is what I have been very effectively doing. 

The difference between me and the women on this show is that I am OK with it.


Clever Elsie said...

I haven't seen that particular dating show, but I'm always wary of dating advice gurus, especially the men. (And I say that as someone who dispenses singles advice on her blog all the time, ha!) There are a few I genuinely like and faithfully follow, but I think most of them promote unhealthy, even harmful approaches to dating centered on game playing and shallow values that appeal to the rate-my-photo crowd.

Grrrr! I'm getting a little hot under the collar just thinking about it! Must be why I'm still single. I need anger management classes. ;)

bobbyboy said...

I tend to agree with Else on this one.

Yes, I have seen the show and even made two blogs about it already :)

One of the bloggers I follow is on the show (Abiola). I smiled when I first saw her there.

Now, I agree with you that Steve seems a bit young and (I know it allish) to me also. I do however like some of the advice given, in general. I think he may know more than meets the eye because his Mom has been matchmaking for two decades, and apparently taught him the ropes.

The main thing I noticed was how wild some of these ladies seem to be.

I can't quote one of your sentences, but it's the one that starts, "I can't make up my mind..." I have been saying this for a long time and I think you should stay who you are!