Singlism on Prime Time!

So the comedy show "Whitney" has an episode about singlism! In this episode Whitney and her live-in boyfriend are denied adopting a dog because they aren't married. Of course this isn't about singlism in the "living solo" sense since they are a couple, but singlism is still getting some attention! I know this will spark some conversation amongst my blogger friends!

Here is the link which hopefully will be active for some time:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/301496/whitney-clarence

What do you think of this?

Ahhhhh Solitude

If you are a regular Singlutionary reader, you already know that a) there hasn't been as much to read lately and b) I live with a bunch of roommates and c) I am a wanna be urban farmer.

Tomorrow, I am having a party welcoming my chickens into my backyard. They've already been out back for a while now but their little chicken coop isn't quite complete without roof tiles. And the roof tiles are going to be made out of cut up beer cans. It'll take about 80 cans to finish the roof. So I'm having a beer can emptying/chicken roofing party. Its actually the first party I've had since moving into my home two years ago and kinda also serves as a housewarming.

I thought that the house would be extra crowded this weekend with all the roommates home because the party is tomorrow.

Instead, I find myself all alone.

And it feels great. Even when I'm in my room with the door closed, I am aware of other people being in the house. I make sure to be considerate, I try and look more presentable when I leave my room and I don't talk to myself out loud as much.

It feels great to have a day alone with just the dog and the chickens. I like being the only human in the house every now and again. I actually like it a lot. 

I think that I'm particularly sensitive to others and try to be considerate of them. So it is only when I am 100% alone that I feel completely myself. 

Of course, I've also been adjusting to going back to work and I'm around people a lot now. I enjoy it just as much as I enjoy this Saturday afternoon solitude. 

I know that this isn't a particularly insightful or interesting post but I just wanted to say something!

How about you? Do you enjoy solitude? Why? What is different about having other folks around and how can that be enjoyable too? 

My Holiday Card (in July)

I've been inspired by a great post over at The Spinster Chronicles. Spinster Leese wrote about receiving Christmas cards as a child and enjoying the updates from relatives and friends near and far and dreaming of writing her own one day. I enjoy this too. As a single person, it would be easy to think "Well, I've got nothing to write home about". But as a Singlutionary, I can't even wait for the holiday season. I am going to write my (summer season's greetings) holiday card right now:

Dear Friends and Family,

Its been quite a half year for the Singlutionary and I hope that your half year has been ripe with blessings as well. 

Singlutionary DOG is now eating a new kind of dog food which she much prefers and which is less expensive but just as nutritious. She escaped into the neighborhood three times this year and has not yet been run over by a Prius.

Meanwhile I went a got myself a full time job, installed two low flush toilets, built a chicken coop, picked out some young Singlutionary hens (with a little help from a friend) and met up with best-friend-since-kindergarten for a half day during which time we "ate and ate and then ate again" according to her 3 year old. I successfully got friends from another time zone to quit calling after 10pm (with a few exceptions of course). And I think (this may be premature) that my sister has forgiven me for whatever I did because she kindly allowed me to take her out for lunch and a margarita and to buy her a flamingo on her birthday. Haven't heard from her since. 

I welcomed a new roommate, met up with my mom in Canada, visited both my parents back in the homeland and will be attending the wedding of my cousin to "The Fanny Patter" next weekend. My (insane) ex-boyfriend quit trying to win me back by leaving kinkos-self-published books by his-truly on my doorstep or in my mailbox and he has finally been reported to the proper authorities by his other (ex) girlfriend. I attended a screening of the first full length movie I ever acted in and realized that I don't suck as much as I thought. I cut off all my hair and rekindled my love affair with water. I have not had sex this year and I'm not really bothered by this fact. Oh, and I started a blog.

Have a Singlutionary Summer!

Love, 

Singlutionary

OK. That was pretty cheesy.

But what is your list of accomplishments and new beginnings for the half year? What do you have to celebrate? What news do you want to shout from the rooftops? What have you overcome, overdone or overcooked since January 1st? What would your Summer Singlutionary card say?

Cutting My Singlution Some Slack

I had a 4 day weekend. And I didn't post once. Not once. I thought about Singlutionary. "Singlutionary" was all over my to-do list. I love writing this blog and participating in this online community of awesome happy singles. I have a list in my journal of things that I want to write about. 

I am frustrated because I am a perfectionist. And since going back to work full time PLUS still working with Bosslady part time my perfection level had dropped to complete non-perfection. In my 4 days off I desperately tried to catch up on stuff and only finished half my list. I did clean the house and finish building the chicken coop but I didn't fix my car window or catch up on blogging or even exercise. 

So I've decided to relax my standards. For now, at least.

And as a Singlutionary, I feel that relaxing my standards and cutting myself some slack is an excellent thing to do. Sometimes I expect myself to run my life as if I were a couple. I expect myself to bring home the bacon, cook wholesome meals, look pretty at all times and maintain an immaculately vacuumed carpet. You know how feminists talk about how women work and then they come home to the "second shift" aka housekeeping, child rearing, etc. Well. I have my own second shift, third shift, 16th shift. I expect myself to build chicken coops, work two jobs, fix my own car (which, by the way, is older than I am), eat super healthy organic homegrown and homecooked meals and write every day all the while looking like a lady of leisure with blow dried hair and manicured nails pushed into cute little heels.

Sometimes I think that I forget to take myself seriously because I am single. I forget how much I work or the value of the work that I do. I forget that I am running a household of four and despite the fact that I am biologically unrelated to any of of my roommates, I am still in charge of making sure everyone communicates, is generally happy and has enough toilet paper. I fall into thinking that I live a frivolous life because hey, I don't have a husband and kids so everything must just be easy like giggling while eating marshmallow fluff. Its OK. Every Singlutionary has her moments of non-singlutionary-ness. I forgive myself. 

But it is time to extend a few reminders to my Singlutionary self:

You're just one. This doesn't mean that I'm alone or lonely or that there is anything that I can't do. But it does mean that I can't expect to keep up with the JonesES. One person might be able to do more than half of what two people do but I still can't expect myself to work 50 hours a week AND have a normal life AND fix everything around the house in one weekend.  

You're just one AND you're part of a community: The only reason I was able to complete one of my long incomplete projects (namely, building a chicken coop which is all done save a lack of empty beer cans to tile the roof with --we'll be emptying the beer cans en masse in a few weeks) was with the help of my Habitat-for-Humanity-friend/former-roommate. She liked the chicken coop idea and has worked tirelessly with me to bring it to eggtion (I was trying to play on the word fruition but it didn't quite work). 

You're just one AND you're part of a greater community which you serve through your actions: Singles are often accused of being selfish or self centered by coupled folks. We're also accused of not being grown up. I think that sometimes I let this sneak in and eat away at my Singlution. Sometimes I think that my life is so fantastic that I MUST be selfish and self centered and that since I don't really have anything "serious" to do, I can just get all caught up in my own private and perfect life. 

Well. My life is great. I am so grateful for everything, for this blog, for the communities and friends which do support me, for my new job, for Bosslady, for my dog and for chicken poo. 

But that doesn't mean that my actions or my projects are irrelevant or unimportant. I am attempting to grow my own food not only for myself but to be shared with my roommates and friends. I am getting chickens to assist in pesticide free and organic pest control and to lay fresh eggs which I will not even eat (I'm allergic). I've created a sustainable business model by renting out furnished rooms in my home to people relocating to my fantastic city. I've installed rainwater collection barrels so that I can consume less water during times of drought (and its always a drought down here). 

I'm no Mother Theresa but my ideals and actions are not as much about myself (although I do enjoy my projects immensely) but about creating and sharing a wonderful space with people in-between cities, contributing to the quality of air and quantity of water in my city and basically being a good friend and neighbor. These are my interests and I am blessed to be able to pursue the life that I want to live and to see the things that I do have a small but stealthy impact on the world around me. Just being a joyful, loving person can uplift and inspire someone. 

Lately my volunteer duties have fallen by the wayside as I have had to spend more and more time on the house and then at work. And I've felt selfish. But the stuff that I do is a far cry from spending all day shopping for a new Segway. 

I am at once grateful for the wonderful people in my life and grateful that I can be a wonderful person in other people's lives. 

I still feel angst about the hallway being un-sanded and half prepped for painting six weeks and counting. I still want everything to be perfect.

But as I am learning with my car: as soon as one part is perfect, another part falls off. 

That is life. Its true if your single and its true if you're coupled. And its time I quit resisting and started celebrating this fact.  

Dear Reader: Please take a moment to pat yourself on the back. What do you do with your life that is doing good in the world even in a small, quiet way. How are you, even through doing things you love, unselfish? Where could you loosen up your own self imposed standards of perfection and cut yourself some slack?

On the Outs with Going Out

I hate going out. First of all, while I live in my fabulous city, I live 20 minutes from downtown so going out for me is no longer a walk down the street. Second of all, I'm not into being drunk or drunk people. Third of all, I'd prefer to save money to do something practical like buy plants.

Sometimes I feel like I SHOULD go out more because that is what single people do. Single people go out. Young people go out. So if I'm young and single I should be going out every night or at least once a week, right? If I don't I'm either boring or a premature-old-fart. 

But I am totally satisfied with spending my extra evening time at home with my dog watching a movie or TV or reading or blogging. In other words, I'd rather participate in this online community for free than go downtown to spend a bunch of money to be in the presence of idiots.

I don't know if this is merely a phase which will pass in time or if I'm just naturally a homebody. But it seems that I can't win. I am the least boring person I know but at the same time any single person who doesn't go out on a regular basis is judged as being boring by all the "fun loving" singles. 

So, if you're enjoying your Friday night at home (or any other day of the week for that matter), here is a quick list of some of my favorite recent posts by other bloggers which you may find entertaining:

A Story About An Awful Date by Welsh Girl

A Short Film About Chasing Boys from Hooking Up Smart

Sweet Solitude's Entire Blog: This woman has mastered solo living

A Onely post on a topic quite similar to this one

A Book Review on What Would Carrie Wear?

Bella DePaulo's Book (Which I just purchased by haven't yet read) and Blog

Thegoodbyedress cracks me up too. Read each short little blog. Its fun.

And I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with going out! I think its a perfectly acceptable thing to do. I am just advocating for staying in being a perfectly acceptable and COOL way to spend my time. Even if I am young. Even if I am single.

Wah-wah-waiting for a Bikini Wax

Today I needed a big ole dose of my own medicine when I put my own foot in my own mouth for declining to have wax put on my own crotch.

My fantastic boss lady offered to buy us both facials tomorrow. The only problem is that we couldn't get concurrent appointments. I would have to wait during her facial and she would have to wait during mine. So she suggested I get a bikini wax while I wait. And I said:

"Why would I get a bikini wax? I don't have anyone to show it to."

And then, before I could even gasp at my own un-singlutionary thinking, bosslady has a comeback:

"You could show it to Dexter!"

Dexter is their overly-assertive-incredibly-friendly-kong-gobbling (male) golden retriever.

So if you're keen on keeping your bikini line bare, remember, there is always SOMEONE to show it to. Even in the dead of winter. Even if he is just a very appreciative dog. And don't forget to show it to yourself!