My Toilet Era Comes to a Close

This year I've successfully removed and installed 3 toilets. I think I'd like to put that on my Christmas card right next to a picture of me and my dog and Santa. Or maybe me and my dog and Santa can be sitting ON the toilet. The recipients of this proposed xmas card may poo themselves in confusion and/or glee (depending on their own awareness of my new found expertise as an amateur plumber). 

Slowly but surely I am becoming my own expert at Singlutionary home improvement. I've always loved figuring out how things work and taking things apart but I never thought I'd become my own handywoman. But being an unemployed home owner has left me without many other options: I've had to figure out how to do it and do it on my own because paying someone to do it simply wasn't an option.

In January, included in the new incarnation of this Singlutionary blog, will be a weekly post on do-it-yourself homeowner projects. I've been asked before to write about homeownership for single women-- or singles in general (and I've been trying to get to it) but in addition to offering advice on the home buying process and the basics of home ownership, I'll also write about how to fix/replace/improve stuff on your own. I think that most single people feel intimidated by tackling projects on their own (especially since many projects require more than two hands and who knows if anyone will be around in that moment of desperation when you realize that you need someone to hold this while you drill that) and with a single income, it is sometimes impossible to just hire someone to do all the work.

Buying a house is something I did without even thinking about the fact that I would have to take care of it all on my own. My desire for homeownership would wait for no man. In fact, it never occurred to me that I ought to wait to buy a home until I was "settled down" or in a relationship. But once I bought the house, I started to realize why domestic chores are divided so clearly down the gender line: there is too much work for one person. Or so it seemed at first. How was I supposed to keep up with cleaning and the yard and also fix the sink and also take out the garbage and also paint the ceilings and also decorate on a budget? How was I supposed to set up beds and move sofas and fix the garbage disposal all on my own? 

But after two years, I've finally got things under control (with a little help from my friends and plenty of frustrated phone calls to my veteran do-it-yourself parents). Yet, I am still the only single female home owner I know and, aside from one inspirational friend who actually is a professional handywoman, I am the most capable person I know. When I began Singlutionary, I was the only non-seeking single that I knew. And now I have a whole community. I hope that by writing about homeownership/repair/improvement for singles, a wonderful community of joyful home owning Singlutionaries will grow.

So, one day a week in 2010 will be committed to the single homeowners and the wannabe single homeowners of the Singlution.

I'll write from my own experience and be sure to mention at the beginning, when and where in the process a second sent of hands would be ideal or, in fact, necessary. And I'll try to make it funny. So, even if you live in an apartment or a condo or a tent, you'll be entertained. At least a little bit. 

Bored and Boring (Another Toilet Story)

Tonight I was going to take out my toilet, replace the toilet shutoff valve and the hose and then tomorrow I was going to put in the new toilet. This is the last of 3 toilets which I am replacing in my house. The other two replacements were a pain in the ass and a learning experience and are now gleaming white monuments to water conservation. 

This last toilet is my toilet: My daily flusher. It is a vintage throne from the 1970s with a giant tank, a perpetually stained seat and a permanent water ring in the bowl. It also spontaneously gurgles and gushes due to slow leak from the flapper that I haven't fixed because I've been planning to replace it every weekend for the past 5 months. My toilet was also going to be (once upon a time) the guinea pig toilet. It was downstairs, so if I did something wrong (as everyone seemed to think I would), the water would leak out onto the cement slab and the not down into the kitchen. It was also the hall bathroom so if I screwed it up, I could use the upstairs toilet until I found an affordable plumber. 

But when I set out to begin this toilet adventure, I found that the little valve behind the toilet that shuts off it's water was rusted. In order to replace it, I would have to turn off the water to the whole house. That could be a disaster. I didn't know how long it would take for me to replace the little shutoff valve and with 4 women in the house, all of whom eat are eaters of vegetables, it wouldn't be long before there was a major stinky meltdown mess worthy of its own reality TV show in the house. 

So, on this fine Friday night, I was getting excited about my date with Mr. Toilet. I went out to the street to turn the water off to the house. It took me a while to unearth the shutoff valve because it had gotten buried under dirt but I got to it. And I turned it. But it wouldn't turn all the way off. Its rusted just like the one inside. I called the city and talked to a fellow who thought I was a little stupid. He told me to put WD 40 on it. He also told me that that valve is my responsibility, not the responsibility of the city. I sprayed some lube on it and decided to wait until tomorrow.

So instead of spending a perfectly good Friday night on a perfectly productive plumbing project, I am sitting around in pajamas. It is only 6pm. Other homeowner projects on my list include working in the backyard (which ideally utilizes daylight and requires getting free woodchips from the city which are only available on weekdays), painting (which requires sanding and creating a giant mess which I am not ready for), more plumbing stuff (which, again, requires shutting off the water) and getting a big girl bed (which is the future topic of a long overdue blog post). 

It is Friday night and thanks to some rusty valves, I have nothing to do. 

There is no word from Teapot who seems to be uninterested in traditional dating schedules (I can't blame him) and who has also explained to me that he is "Type B" and I am "Type A". He pointed out that Type As get bored but Type Bs are OK no matter where they are.

I get bored a lot. 

But life isn't boring for long. Even while I was writing this post I talked to one roommate about going to a movie and my fellow Singlutionary, Handy Woman called. My parents called too.

*If you haven't yet entered my this week's giveaway remember to post a comment before the end of the day on Sunday. And never fear for there are many more giveaways to come.

Singlutionary Takes on Toilets (and Wins)!

My dear fellow blogger, Welsh Girl, just commented on my last post, wondering where I've been. I've been MIA for about a week now! What have I been up to? Is all well? Did I fall into one of the toilets I was replacing? What is happening with the Singlution? Have I abandoned my Singlutionary ship and ridden off into the sunset with the first studmuffin to cross my path?

Well, no, once a Singlutionary, always a Singlutionary. I have not abandoned the Singlution. To be honest, no articulate studmuffins have crossed my path lately either so temptation is lacking. Instead, I've been hell bent on getting my house whipped into shape. I took on way too many projects (toilets, chickens, painting, etc), all at the same time, for one single Singlutionary to complete in a reasonable amount of time. And yet I now need them completed. I need this not only for my own mental health but also because I got a full time job! I start next week and I am heck bent on getting all the loose ends of life wrapped up before I start working not only one-full-time-job but one-full-time-job plus the-part-time-job that I already have.

(After I finish this quick post, I am going to go write my final post on my Unabashedly Unemployed blog about the job and everything that means to/for me.)

But as far as the Singlution goes, its still in full swing. It might take me a few more weeks to catch up on reading blogs and to get my new routine down but I'm still here being single and loving it!

And I did install two of my three free toilets. It wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty and it took about 5 times longer than I planned, but I did it and I gained a lot of toilet-flange/cement-drilling knowledge and confidence in the process! The last 1970s-permanently-poo-stained toilet is in my own bathroom which nobody else really uses (although they had to use it while their toilets were reduced to a pipe in the floor). That project will have to wait for a day off or a holiday. I think I might start calling Independence day, "Change the Crapper Day". After that I'll be independent of toilets. Wait. No. I still NEED the toilets (in order to not get arrested for public pooing). I just won't need a husband/boyfriend/partner/spouse/handyman/bitch/live-in-lover to change 'em.

Singlutionary Shifts

I've changed since I began this blog. When I started it 5 months ago, I was a Baby Singlutionary. Every little step towards being a Satisfied Single was a huge discovery and I found blogging a cathartic and supportive way to put my revelations into words. But now, being a Satisfied Single is no longer news to me. I'm used to it. When I started this blog, I wanted to go out shouting from the rooftops: "I am SINGLE AND HAPPY!" Now I rarely even think about the fact that I am single and when the little girl I watch says: "Why aren't you married? You're old enough." it doesn't even occur to me to be defensive (although I do want to tell her that it is perfectly OK to be "old enough" and single for her own sake). When I do think about my fantastic life, the fact that I am single and happy is like a big "no duh!". Being single and being happy is no longer news. It just is. 

Because of this transformation, I been struggling to find a new approach to writing Singlutionary which isn't as dependent upon my own personal revelations or on screaming "single is sexy" from the rooftops. 

Am I giving up on the Singlution? Heck NO! Of course not. The community that I have found online has sustained and inspired me and I want to continue to participate in these conversations and in building a single-positive world. But things will change a little bit. My posts will be shorter (hey, no more novels to read, right?) and less frequent (about 1 per week) and I am going to try and use a more conversational and interactive approach. What does that mean to you, dear reader? Comment more, read other people's comments and then comment again! Use this blog to pose your own questions or to vent your own frustrations or to celebrate your own singleness. 

So what does my "I'm single and happy, DUH!" life look like? Here are some changes in my life which came about because of this blog but which are now, bittersweetly, edging out the time I used to spend writing Singlutionary:

• I recovered from 2008's many personal hurdles (which were so large and so frequent, that I wasn't always sure I would ever get past them)
  
• I have been reunited with my active (running, swimming, biking, hiking) dog loving self after a year of almost 100% inactivity and exhaustion
  
• I found offline community and friendship right here in my home and spend a great deal of time with my roommates
  
• I stopped being intimidated by large homeowner projects and began a garden and will soon replace all three toilets all by myself
  
• For the first time in years I feel excited about having a full time job
• I've resumed long neglected writing projects and am considering applying to an MFA program in creative writing

And so the Singlution moves on.