Singlutionary Sunday

I've written twice before about the way I spend my Sundays.

I struggle between wanting to be restful, wanting to go on fun & active adventures and wanting to get all the stuff done that so desperately needs to get done but never does.

For the summer, I went with the "fun and active adventures" route. I coordinated activities and rallied the troops. It was fun. But it also left me unproductive during the week. I was either busy coordinating next Sunday's getaway or I was still recovering from the past Sunday's funday. Good times were had, new places discovered, conversations were had and new bonds were made and my horizons were broadened. It was wonderful.

But now I am broke and tired. So, for the past month, Sundays have been all about lounging around in my pjs and catching up on TV shows and doing pretty much nothing except resting so much that by the end of the day I am so ready for the week to begin again.

This week, partly out of necessity and partly because I was inspired by an insanely productive friend, I decided to have a slightly productive Sunday -- a hybrid adventure/restful/catching up day.

And it worked. Kinda. I am tired. But I did catch up which makes me feel less stressed about the week to come. I ran, I read, I gave myself a facial.

It was pretty much a day for myself.

Of course, I had to do some things that weren't tons of fun. But they were productive and made me feel relieved when finished.

Today wasn't really profound in and of itself. But it marks a sort of awesome recovery in my life. When I began this blog, I was writing in final attempt to pull myself out of the darkness that I had recently experienced. Being single and happy really was revelatory to me at that juncture.

Now, I live every day as a single and every day is just another day, another opportunity for rest or adventure or catching up. Or all of the above!

Blog Crawl Goes (Went) Out with A Bang: Day 7 Bella on Onely

So much for catching up today. 

Things I did do:

• Cleaned the downstairs of my house
  
• Organized and cleaned my room to pre-life-upheaval state
  
• Waited around for potential roommate who never showed (typical)
  
• Met up with my sister, ate deli sandwiches, got lots of peppercorns stuck in my teeth, made very tart lemon ice cream from scratch
  
• Put coolant in my chronically overheated, coolant leaking car
  
• Ate healthy (except for the ice cream)
• Finally felt not-hung-over (I will never drink purple margaritas again)
• Showered, twice
• Laundry including dog laundry (dog bedding which is totally gross to wash) and ironing
• Let the chickens out and gave them a quarter of an overly ripe, overly expensive organic mellon
• Made an attempt to figure out how I am going to pay all my bills this month

Things I did not do:

• Clean the upstairs of my house including the upstairs bathroom which desperate needs to be cleaned
  
• Walk the dog
  
• Clean out the chicken coop which is starting to smell a lot like barn
  
• Catch up on the blog crawl
  
• Give myself a pedicure while watching a long neglected netflix
  
• Find a new roommate (which would solve most of my financial issues)
  
• Finish sanding and painting the upstairs hallway
  
• Fix my car
  
• Replace my toilet
  
• Get groceries
  

The last day of the blog crawl was YESTERDAY, soon to be yesterday's YESTERDAY but it still happened. Bella DePaulo of Living Single guest posted on Onely! And that concludes National Singles Week.

I wish that I had been able to more fully participate in the Crawl and in whatever other festivities were taking place. Fortunately, National Singles Week comes around every year and hopefully next year I will be happy and healthy with my head screwed on straight. I will be spending more time tomorrow catching up on blogging, commenting and reading. Fortunately, the posts aren't going anywhere so I can read, digest and comment at my leisure. It was a fantastic experience to be included in this Blog Crawl! Thank you so much to the women at Single Women Rule for putting this together!

Singlutionary Sacrilegious Sabbath

I've posted before about my Secular Sabbath which I, unrebelliously, chose to observe on Sundays. I committed to observing a day free of shopping, plans or housework when I could be alone and rest and reflect on the rest of my week. 

Lately, my sabbath has been more of a Saturday thing, where I crash dead on the sofa all day and take long long naps after a marathon type week. Of course I also work on Saturdays, so the day isn't completely mine and the whole secular sabbath ritual is starting to go to hell-in-a-handbasket.

I'd like to continue to observe a Secular Sabbath on Sunday, not only because of the nifty way that sounds, but also because it is the only day that I consistently have off from work. I also, as a practical matter, wouldn't mind synching up my own secular day with my friend's holy day. 

But, unlike me, church-going Christians go to church on Sunday. They do actually set foot out of their homes and participate in some kind of a ritual with other people which is typically part observation and part participation.

What I am going to say next may be exceedingly offensive:

Last Sunday I observed my Sacrilegious Sabbath at the movie theatre. And I liked it. It didn't feel guilty or dirty or wrong. It felt just right. Because movies are my thing. I participate in making films and I find solace, comfort and community in watching films. I went alone in true Singlutionary style but there were others there. We sat in rows and although we did not know each other there was a sense that we were on a common journey, a common path as we watched the movie and lived the journey portrayed on the screen. 

I happen to live in a town with a very unique movie theatre. You pay admission just like any other movie theatre (I was delighted to observe that the price for the first screening on Sunday is $2 off the regular price just like it is on weekdays) but the seats, instead of having another row of seats in front of them have a low table that stretches down the row. There are menus and pens on the table and you write down an order for food and the waiter walks down an isle between each row of seats/tables to take the order and deliver food. The food is pretty good and they also serve drinks and deserts and fun special movie-themed items depending on what is currently screening. I have met the owners of this theatre, as they are involved in supporting the greater film community in my city, and they are people I feel good supporting with my Sabbath Spending. 

More importantly than the theatre itself is that I believe in telling stories. I think most movies are a load of poo but there are some which are really unique and touching and relevant and which inspire and comfort people. I believe that truly excellent stories told through film must be divinely guided and that this particular story was meant to be told. So for me, movies are not just entertainment, they are a calling, a passion and when done right, I believe they touch on something divine. 

So it is wonderfully appropriate for me to observe my Singlutionary Sacrilegious Secular Sabbath in the movie theatre. It makes sense. And the fact that I can do so without supporting a large corporation or watching bad advertising/trivia before the movie starts makes me feel entirely comfortable with this decision. 

Speaking of pre-preview programing, while I was waiting to watch Away We Go (which I thoroughly enjoyed despite the fact that it portrayed only couples), I saw the most bizarre music video from some decade LONG past. In fact, I am sure that this "music video" was created before the term "music video" was even coined and long before the advent of MTV or my birth (both MTV and I were created at about the same time). 

But the content of this particular music-video-from-the-pre-music-video-era will have to wait for my next post. I wish I could find the video itself and post it here because it is bizarre and funny and totally non-Singlutionary! And also impossible to take seriously. 

Singlutionary's Secular Sabbath

I lived in Utah in my early 20s and I pretty much became as close to being a Mormon as you can get without actually converting. Lots of different religions observe the Sabbath (whichever day it falls on) in a variety of ways. Mormons don't go shopping (or listen to secular music, etc). The concept behind this (which makes a ton of sense if you live in Utah surrounded by Mormons) is that if you're out buying stuff, you're forcing people to work on the Sabbath and nobody should have to work on the Sabbath. Basically, the whole day is dedicated to quiet, restfulness, thoughtfulness, community and (of course) church.

I don't go to church but I have long loved the idea of taking a day off from the world. Our consumer culture is so strong and I am always going full steam ahead on one project or another and running around buying things or working so that I can buy more things so I can do more projects, etc. If I'm not working at a job on Sunday, I'll be working on a project or going on some huge hike which leaves me more tired come Monday. 

Because I am single, its easy for me to keep going full steam ahead all the time and not take time out to just relax and hang out at home without some master productivity plan. I think that coupled people who live together are more likely to enjoy a day around the house doing nothing in particular because they don't have to go anywhere to socialize. Regardless of your coupled or non-coupled status, I am realizing how important observing my secular sabbath is to my mental and physical health!

I advocate for all people (but single work-a-holic types especially) to spend one day a week (whichever day works for you) to be thoughtful, reflective and to enjoy the most simple things in life. I have found that the following guidelines make my secular sabbath more enjoyable and restful not only physically but emotionally and mentally and yes, spiritually was well. Come Monday, I feel truly refreshed and ready to get back to work. You might have different guidelines (if so please comment), these are mine:

1. Plan for a Planless Day. My sabbath is off limits even to social plans. If a friend wants to get together great, he/she can call me when they're ready and just come on over to hang out.

2. Spending Free Day. Not only does this save money but it limits the amount of hustle and bustle in my life and forces me to do simple, quiet things at home and to be imaginative about my activities and/or catch up on reading.

3. Expect Nothing of Myself. I am a very planned, organized, productive person so this is a real challenge for me. I want to make a list of stuff to do like "write a blog, prepare garden for planting, clean the kitchen". There is something to be said for taking a day off from cleaning and chores. Cleaning and chores ARE work. If I am walking through the kitchen and spontaneously wash some dishes, great, that is a bonus, but this is one day where I am not going to shake my finger at myself for having a dirty house!

4. Enjoy the Emptiness. I feel super lazy on Sundays. If I am not intentional about observing my Secular Sabbath, I just get depressed because I don't feel like doing anything and that makes me feel like a looser. But if I just give myself the day off and intentionally only do things that I want to do in the moment I find that I a) surprise myself with the things I do get done and b) am way more productive the rest of the week.

5. Keep it Simple. The best activities for a secular sabbath are simple basic things like: sitting outside in the garden with the dogs, reading a book in bed, watching Big Love on DVD, writing love notes to long distance friends, writing my blog or in my journal, making a nice dinner and inviting a friend over, taking a bath, watering the yard, day dreaming.

6. Keep it Human Powered. This might be left over from my hippie days but I enjoy not using the car for a day. If I want to get out of the house I can walk (or ride my bike if I ever get around to fixing the brakes). Keeping things simple and close to home reminds me to be grateful for my home and to observe the small kingdom that is my neighborhood.

So, fellow Singlutionaries, do you observe a secular (or a not-so-secular) sabbath. What are your guidelines for a simple restful day off? Do you find that observing a secular sabbath enhances your quality of life? What obstacles do you have in setting one day aside to rest and relax?