Singlutionary Has Got Some New Moves

Hey. So, I'm back from outer space. I'm not sure what I learned there and I unfortunately wasn't able to master the native tongue of the alien people.

But I'm back. Several half relationships, several half jobs, a few whole jobs and maybe even some hand jobs later, I return to the blog-o-sphere.

I quit writing here not because I didn't love it but because my financial life needed attending, my physical self needed to be out of the house and off the computer and because, for a while, I just didn't know what to write about. I was at the same time sick of being single (what a hypocrite am I!) and unable to articulate how I felt about the few not-so-awful-but-not-really-great relationships or quazi relationships that I was going through or ending or starting (you never really know when a quazi relationship starts or ends, right?).

I had also exhausted a wealth of revelatory ideas about singleness and happiness. I knew that I was good at being single, that a lot of personal time and space suits me but I didn't know what else to say on the topic -- unless I started repeating old themes which was the most uninspiring proposition on earth. So I left for outer space.

So what are my new moves now that I'm back on the bandwagon? Just telling stories about my life and sharing insights about what other single bloggers are writing. And just being a positive source of entertainment for you -- be you single or coupled or something in between. I'm also beginning a project with my car, Tomatobot. I'm sure you can't wait to hear the stories that come out of me & Tomatobot's quality time together. Its like a slumber party with a giant diesel machine. The pillow fights are more like an oil spill.

I'm also moving my blog away from blogger and onto wordpress. I will miss my blogger community and it will take me a while to get all my blogroll and subscriptions back up to date but I look forward to easier blogging/commenting/subscribing.

I will post here again when the move takes place, but "singlutionary.com" will always take you to the Singlution.

It feels mighty fine & good to be back! And I look forward to settling in and catching up on my favorite blogs as well.

Love,

Singlutionary

Singlutionary on Vacation (and Giveaway Winner)

I had a fantastic Thanksgiving. My parents came into town and helped me with my house and then afterwards I went to the next city over to visit with my best friend and my sister for the weekend. Being unemployed is nice because I got to spend a great deal of time with them. But now the impending doom is setting in. I have been out of work for a month.

I have lots of distractions in my life right now: a broken washing machine, unpaid bills, unfinished projects, runaway chickens and an extra large post-Thanksgiving sized stomach. 

Some of these distractions may be to blame for my inability to post as often or as insightfully as I would like to. I have plenty of things to write about so that is not the problem. The problem, in addition to my many distractions (which were always there), is that I need to discover a new approach to writing Singlutionary. When I began this blog I was in the midsts of a personal revelation and I was rapidly changing and discovering awesome singleness and that is what I wrote about, as it occurred to me. Now that I am solidly single and am no longer so much in awe of the awesomeness that is my life, I am not sure where to write from. I want to keep writing but I lack focus on all fronts. 

Writing this blog and engaging with other bloggers and with commenters has brought me so much comfort and encouragement over the past year. And I want to continue to write Singlutionary and to read and comment on other singles blogs. But for the next month I am going to take a step back and figure out how I want to continue. You might not even notice a difference when I start up again. My writing won't change. I will still try to be funny and fun and hopeful. But it is important to me that when I do post, my posts are well thought out and well written and at this juncture (between been unemployed and having so many projects which need finishing) I don't have the focus to post well AND often. 

I suppose that both I (THE Singlutionary) and the blog (Singlutionary) are having a mini identity crisis of sorts. I've accepted my wonderfully single life and now instead of looking back at all the mistakes I've made or looking forward towards a Happily-Ever-After rescue from my own demons by some imagined Prince Charming, I am merely looking at my real life in all its glory and asking: What next? Where do I go from here? Where do I take my real life? What kind of a career do I want to have? What do I want to do with this blog? What is the purpose of Singlutionary? How fitting to be thinking these thoughts at the close of the calendar year.

I want to make this blog better, connect with more awesome positive singleness sites, profile inspiring people, offer once-a-week single-friendly giveaways, tell good stories and keep the Singlution growing. And in order to do that I need a little time to get the rest of my life in check.

So I won't be posting much during the next month. I will be twittering so please find me there (you can click through using the twitter feed over on the right side of this page). But I'll be back with a vengeance in 2010!

In the meantime, I encourage you to post in comments about other great sites or blogs or articles or any other various inspirational singleness that we can redirect to. I've tried to keep my blog roll up to date but I know that there are many wonderful single writers out there that I have missed!

**The giveaway winner from last week (from a random drawing from all entries) is Stevi! Stevi, I need your snail mail address so I can send you the GO Smile travel kit courtesy of singleedition.com

Sundays will continue to be giveaway days in the new year! 

In the meantime, comment to your hearts content. And I hope to be doing the same. Just reading and twittering for one whole month. Oh, decadent bliss. 

Most Awkward Single Picture Contest

Forgive me for this post is 100% distraction.

I want to be writing about the Kreative Blogger award which I received from both BobbyBoy at Relationship Digest and Monique at Dazzling Single (THANK YOU BOTH!) but that will have to wait because I am distracted by a website with far less substance than either of theirs. 

On this website (which was sent to me by one of my few single friends) someone posts people's willingly submitted awkward family photos. Funny, right? Definitely. This blog does have a Singlutionary bent because they do not discriminate against singles. One of the better pics is of a "awkward solo photo" of a woman with a tiger in the mall (not funny at all if you are the tiger). 

I found two pictures which I thought I would share with you.

1. Is it an engagement photo or a maternity photo or what? I'm just glad I've never been in a relationship long enough for there to be documentation of a love like THIS. 

2. This must be photoshopped, right?

Hmmm. Well, I decided to do some research into the photoshopping of the 2nd awkward family photo. So I googled "walrus penis". Now the two videos below (which were the top two that popped up when I googled those two magic words) are not for the faint of heart. Actually, I'm not sure this is even appropriate for me to share on my blog. If you're a pre-marital mormon, you might want to avert your virgin eyes. I'm just saying. 

And so this is what I do when not being the Singlutionary.

BUT WAIT! I have been inspired to start a contest. Send me your most awkward Single picture! You can not be wearing a halloween costume or a costume of any sort. You must be dressed like you at some point in your life when your particular brand of awkwardness was most wonderfly captured on film. The picture must be of you, alone. Its OK if you took the picture of yourself. I will post each picture that I get in and whichever picture gets the most comments (negative or positive) will win. The prize? Something from my random basket of goodies. 

Email pics to singlutionary@gmail.com. If I don't get any pictures, I will be forced to publish several of myself with a dinosaur sticker covering my face. 

And onto those gross/awkward/exciting (for the walrus) videos:

I know. I'll never think of a Walrus the same again either. 

Singlutionary on ONELY and SINGLE WOMEN RULE!

Last week Singlutionary was profiled by Lisa and Christina at Onely in their "Some Like it Single" series!

And the week before that Singlutionary was mentioned in a "Sisters in the Struggle" post by Keysha Whitaker on Single Women Rule!

I wanted very much to celebrate these two blogs and their contribution to happy satisfied singledom in a more timely matter but I am learning that I am anything BUT timely!

Regardless, if you haven't subscribed to Onely or to Single Women Rule, you should. Both blogs offer insight, fun and a variety of voices on the Single life from a happy non-hostile perspective. They're uplifting. And they both boast a great list of resources on their blogrolls! Check them out.

If you're looking for more singles blogs than you could ever process in one lifetime, there is a list of the "Top 100 Dating, Relationship and Singles Blogs" on The Toronto Speed Dating blog.

This obscenely comprehensive list includes Onely and Single Women Rule and breaks down the blogs by cities and topic. 

I'm A Spinster!

I subscribe to one blog called Seriously So Blessed. It is a satire of married mormon life and its hilarious. My favorite posts are about the spinsties (the women over 23 who are unmarried friends of the author). I love being a Spinsty. Today I read this post over at Rachel's Musings about the word "Spinster" which cites Bella DePaulo's inteview with Jaclyn Geller and the search for a word other than "single" (which implies that someone is missing something, like their "other half") to describe the single state. 

Apparently the word "Spinster" used to mean a financially independent woman who made her own living spinning!

Well. That is me! I'm a Spinsty for reals now!

Off the Writing Wagon

I feel off the writing wagon. And I've been a lousy blog friend! Here is what is up:

1. I've been taking way too long to respond to requests to guest blog. I love love love the invitations I've gotten to blog on Hooking Up Smart and on Single Women Rule. I want to write about sex for Hooking Up Smart because that seems appropriate but writing about sex is super tricky (which is why I still haven't addressed it here). I want to be honest but I don't know how to do that without sounding like I'm bragging about all my conquests (which is the whole point of what NOT to do). 

2. My single blog-sister over in Wales gave me an award which I must pass on (but haven't yet)! Thank you Welsh girl! That is my first award and it totally made my day!

3. I haven't been posting anything of quality for a few days because I haven't quite been able to figure out what I want to say. I was very disappointed last weekend when the Pedestrian Bridge Kiss Boy didn't call. I didn't think I would be that sad and I am convinced that dating is doing nothing for my self esteem. Regardless, I haven't been up to my usual Singlutionary self for a few days. But its OK. When I get it all figured out I'll be posting with a vengeance!

On the Outs with Going Out

I hate going out. First of all, while I live in my fabulous city, I live 20 minutes from downtown so going out for me is no longer a walk down the street. Second of all, I'm not into being drunk or drunk people. Third of all, I'd prefer to save money to do something practical like buy plants.

Sometimes I feel like I SHOULD go out more because that is what single people do. Single people go out. Young people go out. So if I'm young and single I should be going out every night or at least once a week, right? If I don't I'm either boring or a premature-old-fart. 

But I am totally satisfied with spending my extra evening time at home with my dog watching a movie or TV or reading or blogging. In other words, I'd rather participate in this online community for free than go downtown to spend a bunch of money to be in the presence of idiots.

I don't know if this is merely a phase which will pass in time or if I'm just naturally a homebody. But it seems that I can't win. I am the least boring person I know but at the same time any single person who doesn't go out on a regular basis is judged as being boring by all the "fun loving" singles. 

So, if you're enjoying your Friday night at home (or any other day of the week for that matter), here is a quick list of some of my favorite recent posts by other bloggers which you may find entertaining:

A Story About An Awful Date by Welsh Girl

A Short Film About Chasing Boys from Hooking Up Smart

Sweet Solitude's Entire Blog: This woman has mastered solo living

A Onely post on a topic quite similar to this one

A Book Review on What Would Carrie Wear?

Bella DePaulo's Book (Which I just purchased by haven't yet read) and Blog

Thegoodbyedress cracks me up too. Read each short little blog. Its fun.

And I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with going out! I think its a perfectly acceptable thing to do. I am just advocating for staying in being a perfectly acceptable and COOL way to spend my time. Even if I am young. Even if I am single.