My absence has been due to the usual: getting busy.
I am always busy.
I used to think that if only I were coupled, I would have more time and more money. Then I was coupled and realized that this was a total fallacy.
Relationships take time and in my case I was not ready to give a whole bunch of time to a relationship because I wasn't done giving time to myself. I am a recovering work-a-holic so learning to spend time with myself just doing nothing or just doing whatever the heck I want to do is a new concept to me. Being in a relationship thrust me right back into panic mode. I felt like I had to get things done super fast and that I had to sacrifice all my me time so that I could have some-tiny-scrap-of-time left over for the super needy boyfriend.
Maybe super needy boyfriend wasn't that needy. Maybe I just didn't want to spend a whole lot of time with him. Three cheers for dysfunctional relationships teaching us more than we ever wanted to know about ourselves!
As far as money goes, I had a friend mention the other day that she wished she were married so she would have two incomes and have more stuff/stability/etc. That is a nice idea. In THEORY. In reality you may have two incomes but you also have to balance two entire INDIVIDUAL'S sets of desires and dreams and destinations. You also have to deal with two people's ideas on how money is made, used and spent.
I also know a lot of people with hella lazy spouses, ex-spouses and other freeloading relations. Just cause you're single doesn't mean you're poor. In fact, it can often mean just the opposite. If you're a pitiful pining, desperate dating, wah-wah-waiting poor-poor-me single, please just take a moment and think about how you spend your money. Even in these difficult economic times when you think it would be nice to have someone to lean on it is important to remember a) that you can always lean on yourself and b) that you are surrounded by a community of people both single and married who can and will support you sometimes in ways you didn't even imagine.
Even if you are flat broke right now, if you're reading this blog I can tell you that things could be a LOT worse. You still have some kind of access to a computer and a warm place to sit and think. You're literate. You've got skills.
And just imagine that you have an extra five bucks to spend however you want and you are in a relationship so you have to COMPROMISE and see a movie that you kinda never really wanted to see about eyeballs or gumballs or fantasy footballs or something you really really hate.
But instead you are single so you get to spend your five bucks on some stupid fancypants latte or something which warms not only your body but your soul.
I'll write with more humor and perception tomorrow folks. I am totally tuckered out.