Welcome to the Singlution!

No more desperate dating, pitiful pining and wahhhh-wahhhh-waiting!

New to the Singlution? Check out the Singlution FAQ.

Spread the Singlution LOVE! If this blog tickles your fancy, post a link to singlutionary.com on your facebook, myspace, twitter, forehead or just email all your Singlutionaries. Become a follower! Subscribe to the Singlution!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I think I posted a couple weeks ago on how I was giving up on match.com.

Well. I did. And then I didn't. After the initial excitement wore off, I put it on the backburner. I would get some winks and sometimes I would wink back but for the most part I felt like the quality of guys on match.com matches the quality of guys peeing on the street in front of a bar. 

But then a couple interesting people caught my attention and I've taken a new attitude towards online dating. I've never really understood dating mainly because I felt like I needed to make up my mind about someone before I even went on a date with him. In other words, if I were to go on one date with a guy it was because I'd already decided I wanted to marry him. 

What I've realized (finally, duh) about dating is that its easy! You go on one date and then decide if you want to go on another. There is no commitment involved. I don't have to hump the guy, I don't have to kiss the guy, I don't even have to LIKE the guy afterwards. 

So I have been on one date so far. This was several weeks ago. I went on a date with a hot doctor. He was super cute and I think I was super cute and it wasn't a bad date at all. I would have gone on a second date with him but he didn't call and so I forgot about him. Rejected! Nice and simple. I knew at our first date that we weren't going to get married and I could tell that he didn't "get" me. And for people who don't "get" me and my crazy sense of humor, I wouldn't be surprised if I am completely exhausting to be around.

I have another date this week with a nice engineer. I usually don't date engineers and I am totally against dating software engineers (been there, done that) but this one has been very nice and consistent and so I've decided to give him a chance. 

I don't have much of a social life these days. Actually, I think my social life is normal for the amount I work, for being sick and for being a homeowner with a dog (which means I spend a lot of time at home--like a lot of couples). Lately, I've been enjoying the social life that match.com is providing for me. I get to check out guys online and then maybe go on a date with them. It only takes up a couple hours a week and its very simple and doesn't spill over into other areas of my life. I email the guys back when I feel like it and when I have time. The rest of my time is spent maintaining the relationships I already have in my life and sleeping and eating and working! And I like learning about people and what they want and how they interact. 

Ahhhhh. I love simplicity. I love dating. And deep down, I love rejection because it is so clear and sharp and honest and it gives me the space for the next new thing to come forward! I love match.com!


Special K said...

I drive myself to excel, and thus complicate the whole romantic dating thing...but taking a step back and really asking "do I want to hang out with this person?" and oftentimes, the answer is no. I'd rather watch the president's address at home, maybe texting my best friend in CO...If we ask ourselves what we truly desire, which is a complicated question, the answers are usually simple, right?

Susan Walsh said...

Wow, I give you a ton of credit for your take on rejection from the doctor. Nice and simple! That's brilliant. You have a lot to teach the rest of us. It sounds like the last year has been amazing, and I look forward to seeing where your path takes you next!


Crystal Monae said...

Simplicity is nice. Solitude is nice. Getting rejected is like having a grape lodged in your throat. Not so nice. However, I applauded you for coping nicely!