Welcome to the Singlution!

No more desperate dating, pitiful pining and wahhhh-wahhhh-waiting!

New to the Singlution? Check out the Singlution FAQ.


Spread the Singlution LOVE! If this blog tickles your fancy, post a link to singlutionary.com on your facebook, myspace, twitter, forehead or just email all your Singlutionaries. Become a follower! Subscribe to the Singlution!

Monday, May 25, 2009

House. Garage. Tent.

Today I am cleaning out my garage or at least trying to make sense of it. Two years ago I lived uncluttered in a studio apartment. Now I have a garage the size of that very studio full of crap. I have no idea why these things are there, what they are or why they are taking up so much room. A great majority of the stuff is stuff that needs to be recycled in some special way (like paint cans or toxic stuff) and the rest of it is stuff I'm saving for various unannounced art projects. There are also a lot of house parts and car parts and a bike and about 20 suitcases/travel bags.

And then there is my camping stuff. It takes up a whole section of the garage. I haven't been camping in about a year and before that it was more like two years.

I love camping. And I am not getting rid of my stuff!

But, while I am trying to make sense of the garage, I hear the voice of my phantom spouse in my head nagging me about my camping stuff. Am I really ever going to go camping again? I have a house and a dog and I no longer live in beautiful California where the weather is perfect and there are alpine mountains and rivers and beaches. Nor do I live in Utah or Wyoming where there are even more mountains and lakes and vistas and trees and wilderness galore. Its hot here. There are lots of sketchy bugs and snakes and flash floods and other nasty things and anyplace nice is at least 2 hours from my home in the the city. 

So basically, I have a sitcom episode going on in my head where the wife wants the husband to get rid of his precious whatever and he resists and they have a whole freaking episode about whatever it is. In this case its a tent and a sleeping bag and a backpack and a camp stove, etc. 

I think it's interesting that I am the man in this episode. I find myself being the man is most of the sitcoms episodes which play only in my mind.

And I am glad that this is my house, my garage and I can keep all my camping stuff no matter how much room it takes up!

This whole experience should make me simply smile and spend another day thinking how grateful I am that I am single. But, when it comes to camping, one of the reasons I don't camp anymore is lack of company. I have no problem with camping by myself. I'm not scared of the dark or anything like that. But camping, most of often, is a social activity, an opportunity to bond without all the distractions of technology and modern life. It is about simplicity. I could always go with my dog and we could bond an marvel at the immense creativity and engineering brilliance of nature. And if I have a chance to go camping and nobody to do with, that is what I'll do. 

But I do miss camping with friends. I miss ambling conversations and ambitious hikes and lounging in whatever body of water we are next to. I also miss the combined energies and the building enthusiasm, the mutual excitement surrounding a trip.

I am a member of several meetup groups which have camping and hiking outings on their calendars but I can never seem to get the right days off from the rest of my life to go with them. Plus, if I have to choose between going with a group and going by myself, I would rather go solo. I don't want general company. I want good company. Camping is a test of compatibility. 

If I were sitting around with time to go camping saying: "But I can't go camping by myself. Its too hard. I'm too scared. Blah. Blah. Blah." Then I would kick myself in my own Singlution and tell myself to throw that stuff in the car and just start driving until I found a pretty place to pitch my tent.

But I have camped solo. And it was wonderful and it was also boring. After 24 hours, I was tired of my own thoughts and just went to bed early. I guess, when it comes down to it, the thing that I love about camping is not merely being alone in nature but sharing that experience with someone.  

So my mission now is to find someone new to share it with. And to put a priority on finding some time to go camping which is hard when there are so many things to do with the house and in the garden and when I have commitments six days a week. 

Maybe if I go camping I'll end up making friends with other campers. Of course the last time I did that I ended up making friends with a guy who might very well be featured on America's Most Wanted. I didn't know how sketchy he was until after I got home but something had prompted me to leave a day earlier than planned. 

So. Practical ways to go about meeting a camping kindred spirit:

1. Go on day hikes with meetup groups and try to find a friend
2. Just go camping and be open to meeting other (non-criminal) campers
3. Invite friends to go camping even if I'd usually assume that they're too busy
4. Actually make time in my own life to go even if it means going solo for a day because anything is better than pitifully pining away for a night in the pine trees. 


11 comments:

Anonymous said...

INVITE ME TO GO WITH YOU!!!! OMG, Singlutionary, I totally ADORE camping and am so glad you are not throwing your shit out, nor having to deal with some stupid sitcom scenario. :)

Based on your story about v. sketchy camping "friend," I would urge you to choose options 1, 3, and 4. Especially 4 because if you're committed, then someone else who you wouldn't have expected to step up might also become committed.

I am also glad you have camped solo. I have done it once or twice with my dog, but often psyche myself out by being too fearful. Would you want to do a guest post for Onely about tips for camping alone, based on your previous experiences? Let me and Christina know b/c we'd be happy to have you (or... I suppose since you have a forum already, you could just post about it here).

-- Lisa

The Singlutionary said...

Lisa-- We should totally go camping together. I suspect that if we both took solo (or canine enhanced) roadtrips from our respective cities we'd meet up in someplace beautiful, lush and camp-worthy.

I think that the most practical move for myself right now is to go with number 4. It'll take me a few months to get the free time but I'd definitely love to share some of my adventures and the good/bad and the ugly about my experiences.

I'd love to guest post on Onely. I seem to be a really lousy guest poster, however as I have totally dropped the ball on a couple other guest posts which I desired to write. But I'll keep trying because I want to!

Megs said...

I love camping too, but rarely go because when I mention it to my friends they all go "ew camping... why would I sleep on dirt?" This has prompted me to not buy camping stuff. It makes me a little sad. I want to go with you both.

Constance Burris said...

I love camping and if you and Lisa decide to do a singlutionary camping trip I am so want to go!

The Singlutionary said...

It looks like we'll have to have a Singlutionary/Onely camping trip one of these days. That would be SO MUCH FUN. We could just chart the coordinates of where we all live and then meet right in the center (or something like that).

One day my Singlution Friends! One day!

Welsh Girl said...

The new hovel is in camping heaven. Actually it sort of reminds me of America and the lakes at the base of the Tetons (on sunny days anyway!). Hope you get the tent out this summer!

iol. said...

I spent childhood school holidays going camping :-) happy memories :-)

IF you go with anybody from MeetUp groups, please please please make sure that there are more than, say, 4 of you .... even with 2 other people there (besides you) it mightn't be safe (they might just wham-bam-thank-you-m'am....) :-(

Anonymous said...

Singlutionary, if you're serious, this possibility could be fun. Email me and Christina off list and maybe our blogs can sponsor a meetup camping trip.

PS went for a solo hike this morning, and both me and my puppy acquired plenty o' ticks! EWWWW

-- Lisa

The Singlutionary said...

Lisa: YES! Lets do it. I just emailed you.

And TICKS?

Bad Onely Activity: Removing ticks from your own back or other hard to reach body part. Its nearly impossible and its difficult to find someone nearby who isn't totally freaked out either by the ticks or by ticks at the braline.

Bees. Caterpillars. Ticks. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW

Anonymous said...

YES. Luckily none attached. But truly, truly EWWWW. Christina is in charge of the next "bad onely activity" post but it will include something about ticks. :(

L

John Langer said...

I follow your blog for a long time and must tell you that your posts always prove to be of a high value and quality for readers. Keep it up.