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Sunday, November 1, 2009

Fired. Up.

Does being single make it easier to be a work-a-holic? My former boss is a single man in his 40s with no life outside of work. He hides in work and expects all of his employees to do the same. He hates granting vacation or the fact that people have relationships outside of the office. He hated it when I clocked out and went home at the end of the work day instead of hanging out with him off the clock.

Being around him for 40 hours a week made me wonder if being single is actually a sign of being an insecure, damaged, busybody psychopath. He made me wonder if I was really just lying to myself about being a satisfied single. Instead, was I, like him, just doing anything and everything to avoid emotional intimacy, commitment and relationships?

This man does not set a good example for the Singlution. On his days off, he drives by employees homes to spy on them. He fired me for being "rude, disrespectful and combative" but wouldn't give me a single example of my rude, disrespectful or combative behavior. I think he resented me for having a great single life with rich friendships. My best friend was visiting this past week and something about that made him incensed. And I think he hated the attention I got from my admirers. Obviously my former boss, Mr. Maple, needs some help becoming Singlutionary.

There is this documentary out there called "Fired" and I recommend it to anyone who has been fired or just can't get any respect in this current economy. Its funny. Its honest. There is one quote in there that I can't properly credit but it goes something like this: "Getting fired is god's way of telling you to do something else."

Getting fired two days ago was a blessing. Every day I went to work and was handed some kind of veiled insult by Mr. Maple and every day I had one foot out the door. I was in constant conflict and I felt like I was getting nowhere. My job was easy and I was already trained to take on the position above me but I knew that my boss was loathe to give me the promotion even though I had been doing that job for most of the month. But I also really enjoyed the community I was a part of. I liked my admirers, the residents I knew by name and all their dogs. I loved the other folks I worked with. I have never worked with so many kind, good and funny people before. Mr. Maple was the only problem. So every day I talked myself out of quitting and found a way to put up with constantly being put down.

Until Friday. On Friday I stood up for myself and got fired. And when he fired me, Mr. Maple really just gave me a promotion. 

Jobs are a lot like relationships. And I'm not really interested in staying in an abusive one. Sometimes the benefits of the relationships outweigh the abuses but it usually doesn't take long for the scale to tip.

I might not need a boyfriend, but I do need a job. And I'll find one. But I'll be picky. In the meantime I'll temp, work on the house and start writing my book. I've heard that its easier to find a job when you're actively engaged and not just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. That is familiar advice when it comes to finding your soulmate as well, right? 

So. I best get off the internet and deal with some sewer problem I'm having where my toilet is bubbling up with water from the washing machine. Then I'll take a shower and go on an informal date with Teapot.

That is right. My last act of rebellion on Friday (after recycling my office paper which Mr. Maple also hates) was to give Teapot my phone number. 

I'll hopefully be posting more regularly again during my unemployment and next week I am going to begin a weekly Sunday morning give-away thanks to Single Edition


Stevi said...

I'm sorry you got fired. But your attitude about it is awesome!

Hopefully you can find a job with a respectful environment and one where you are appriciated, which I am sure you will. Keep us posted!

hebba said...

I don't think the fact that your former boss in unmarried accounts for his behavior. I have been in similar situations with bosses who were married with kids; I think some people just never make it past junior high mentality and decide to pick on people they don't like.

Being jobless for a while is an opportunity to find something better.

Incidently, have you ever found that some work environments emit the attitude that if you AREN'T married with kids, then you SHOULD work overtime because, hey, you don't have to run off to dance recitals or pediatrician's appointments so your plans aren't important?

Akirah said...

I hope a new gig comes thru for you soon. A better, new gig.

Here's to new beginnings!

seun said...

Well done get out while you still can. No job is paying for your joy!!! Enjoy while you can.

Megs said...

I'm sorry you got fired, but it sounds like you are feeling fantastic. I'm a firm believer of getting out if you are unhappy. I made a vow to myself when I was 20 and riding the subway with a bunch of miserable people that I would never be that miserable on my way to work. I have never been fired but I have thrown caution to the wind a few time and quit because being unhappy in one facet of your life really does affect every other part of it. Good luck! We are all rooting for you!!

The Peach Tart said...

When one door closes, it makes the opening for something better to arrive. I know you will find something where you are appreciated and respected.

Kahnee said...

F! that job. I heard somew ehre that we don't leave jobs, we leave bosses. So to be more specific, F that boss!
Good luck with your book! I want more details.

The Singlutionary said...

Stevi: Yes! I can't wait for the new job where I am appreciated!

Hebba: I don't really think that Mr. Maple single status is an excuse for him to act the way he does. It was just a really bad environment because it make me start to see singleness in a really bad light. But it is true. He is an angry, unbalanced human being with control issues. He would be just as dysfunctional did he happen to be in a relationship. And yeah. If I go home at the end of the business day to pick my nose and watch TV there is nothing wrong with that. I should be able to go home at the end of the day. My time is my time. Mr. Maple wants to own all his employees on and off the clock.

Akirah: New beginnings! I like that.

Seun: Joy is truly the most important thing. I am FREE!!!! Although I will miss a lot of folks from work but I will find a new workplace community down the road.

Megs: I've quit a lot of jobs out of misery. The only reason I was staying at this one is that everyone was so cool (aside from my boss). I'm looking forward to my 1st non-miserable job in a long time!

Peach Tart: Thanks! At least I wasn't fired for blogging although that may have been a part of it. I don't remember telling my boss about my blog but I think he may have found it anyways.

Kahnee: Ef him! And the book, well the one I want to work on 1st is a Singlutionary book of my long road to the Singlution.

Chelsea said...

Good luck with the job search. I'm sorry you got fired, but it sounds like that was a terrible place to work- single or not.

lisa.nguyen said...

Wow, your boss sounds completely nuts. Being fired seems like a blessing in your case.

I really like your last comment where you compare a job to a relationship. I have always thought in terms of this. It helps me see if I am underselling myself as well as my relationship towards the job. For example, if I was working at a job that paid my bills but would not be a career, I see it as a sort-of "mr.right now" - the guy you date because there's not much wrong with him, but you just don't have that passion or attraction for.

When it comes down to it, I understand relationships more than I understand, say, the corporate environment. It helps me anchor my thoughts.



The Singlutionary said...

Chelsea: Thanks! It was a terrible place to work single or not for sure. If you were single anything you did outside of work was frivolous and if you were coupled anything you did outside of work was annoying because it had to do with being coupled. Sigh. I mean. that was my boss's perspective. Honestly, he needs to get a life!

Lisa: Welcome to Singlutionary and thank you for commenting. At this point in my life I would like a long term job. . . a committment but of only say 4 years. That would be perfect. But it needs to be 4 fantastic years. I feel like I have a lot more control over finding a fantastic job than finding a fantastic relationship.

Clever Elsie said...

I take back my last comment--it doesn't suck that you lost this job. It rocks! Good for you for speaking up for yourself and, since this sounds like it had more than a little to do with your boss's singlism, for singles in general, too!

I have to agree with everyone who's said that this guy's attitude has nothing to do with his marital status. I personally know plenty of wack jobs and other "difficult" personalities who are married, cohabiting, dating, or otherwise attached. This man sounds really troubled and on the verge of going off the deep end. (Stalking his employees? What is that about?) I hope you never have any other reason to come in contact with him again!

In the meantime, enjoy your time off! I can't wait for your book! You have such an engaging voice! If there's anything I can do to help you, let me know.

The Singlutionary said...

Clever Elsie: Thanks so much! I am excited for my book too although I have just hardly been able to start catching up on the blog world.

And yes, my former boss was a singlist single. Or just a crazy person in general. But he prides himself on being single. But I think for all the wrong reasons. It kinda was a creepy place in my brain for a while because he and I had this proud single thing in common but we were so different in the way we choose to live our lives.