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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Expecting Less of Myself (and Giveaway*)

Last week I experimented on myself: I refused to make any lists for one whole week. 

I am a compulsive list maker. I am constantly making lists of things to do and when I am going to do them. I am very detailed. Instead of just "work on the yard" I list out every single thing that needs to be done in the yard. I try very hard to be super productive but often times I find myself at the end of the day with only a portion of my list completed. I am constantly under-budgeting my time and over-budgeting my tasks. This whole list thing also makes me feel trapped because suddenly these things which I enjoy are no longer enjoyable simply because there are so many of them to do and not enough time to do them in.

In an attempt to be more open and allowing things to unfold in my life instead of controlling every second of my existence, I decided to commit to a week with NO LISTS. And it hurt. It really hurt at first. Every half an hour I would think something like "well, I better go see what is on my list" or "I should add that to my list" or "I need a list for that". Last Saturday I didn't know what to do with myself. I kept telling myself to just "do what you want to do now" which was actually pretty helpful. 

At the end of the 2nd day, I had accomplished a great deal of little things. Some of the things I wouldn't usually feel good about because they're not typically on my to-do list. Like talking to my mom for example or going to a movie with a roommate or taking a nap. I also set out beans to soak overnight, did SOME work in the backyard and tidied up. I also found myself becoming obsessed with this Farmville game on Facebook  which may explain why I didn't post a single thing on Singlutionary for the rest of the week.

Of course, I still haven't fixed my toilet or painted the downstairs hall either.

Anyways. I think that all of this is important in regards to wanting a relationship. Teapot doesn't seem to be very proactive about calling me and I've decided to just wait until he makes a move. I don't know if he will but it doesn't matter because I have been plenty busy doing my own thing and enjoying life and doing what I want to do in the moment instead of trying to budget in time to spend with him around my crazy home improvement schedule. In the past I would be agonizing over every second that went by without a word for him. I'd be angry and offended that he hadn't called but also desperate to hear from him. 

So I guess what I am saying is that I am trying to learn how to go with the flow of my own day and I am hoping that by letting go, I allow even more grace and beauty and wonder into my life.

I already know how futile it is to be Type A about finding a partner but now I need to apply that concept to my whole life!

*Today is Giveaway day! 

The winner of last last week's giveaway drawing is: Jenn
Please email me with your address so I can mail your Revolution Tea Sampler prize to you!

In honor of the long overdue teeth cleaning I had this week (it sucked to be at the dentist but my teeth feel SO GOOD now), I am giving away a Go Smile Go Travel kit. This is the perfect little package for anyone who travels a lot and is obsessed with good dental hygiene.

In order to enter the giveaway, please leave a comment and do ONE of the following (if you haven't already):

1. Post my button (copy and paste the text from just below the button found on the right side of Singlutionary.com on your blog/website)

2. Link to my blog on your blog/website in your blogroll or otherwise

3. If you don't have a website/blog, email a couple friends about Singlutionary and CC me at Singlutionary@gmail.com

This week's giveaway is possible because of SingleEdition.com!

Check back next Sunday for the results. The giveaway deadline is 6am Sunday morning. 


Stevi said...

I just became obsessed with Farmville this week too! It is addicting! My farm is pitiful compared to some peoples!

I like your whole "no lists" idea, but I don't think I could do it. I fear I would forget too much. But maybe, just maybe, I will try it someday.

hebba said...

an entire week without one list? Madness! Madness, I tell you! (meaning, I'd go mad(

The Singlutionary said...

Stevi: be my neighbor on Farmville! I am going to search for you!

Hebba: I almost did go mad!!!

Sixty and Single in Seattle said...

Is it just on my screen that your background is a lovely yellow -- love the color -- but really hard to read the words, which, after all, are why I read you! Linking you on my site today!
Re lists: I love lists! love breaking down a task into its bits, so you can check off about eight items just because you finally raked the yard! I think "Call Mom" and "See movie" and "Read novel" deserve a place on the to-do list.

Anonymous said...

Ok - some suggestions - please please don't take offence but this is coming from someone who suffers terrible health problems - including horrific fatigue - and who can never do much of anything, let alone a lot of one thing.......

You could change the way you think .... the way you word what you want to do..... because you used totally different ways of THINKING on both weeks.

This is hard to write succinctly - easier to say it rather than write it. But in the "first" week, you wrote something like


... but these 2 steps have many smaller steps, which you found out in week 2 when you did some of them just when you needed to.

So .... maybe you can change the way you WORD your list, so that it's got smaller steps in it, and so when you do them you can cross them off individually ....

So, rather than "clean bathroom" you could write

- clean sink
- clean toilet
- clean shower
- sweep bathroom

.... it's easier to just find 2 minutes to clean the toilet when you feel happy and motivated, than find 15 minutes to clean the WHOLE bathroom

Can you see the difference?

Or ..... find other ways to do them.

eg. put on a whole CD of energetic happy music (if you need some suggestions, let me know) and actually almost-dance while you're doign it all. Sing along like there's no tomorrow.

Just some suggestions .... :-)


Clever Elsie said...

As I get older, I find that lists are more and more necessary, and I've always been an absent-minded professor type minus the PhD, too. :) I'm not fanatic about making them, though, and I recently had a discovery opposite to the one you had--I learned that I needed a list to keep from procrastinating and getting nothing done. However, I think these are flip sides of the same coin. I had too little organization in my life and needed to learn to be more methodical. On the other hand, you felt you were too regimented and learned to be more spontaneous. It's all about finding that balance methinks. :)

Also, that's really cool that you've been able to just sit back and let whatever happens happen with Teapot. The automatic change in your response should show you how much you've grown and that, contrary to your earlier fears, you can handle dating again. :)

Totally OT, but, umm...why is my captcha word "slunt"? I mean, really...slunt! Is somebody trying to tell me something? :D

The Singlutionary said...

Sixty and Single: Thank you so much for linking to me! It is my goal for this month to read more and write less which I am very much looking forward to. And the background should be almost black with white text which also hurts people's eyes. This is one of the things I'll be working on a solution to as I re-organize the blog.

And to be honest, I really did miss my lists. I am back on them.

Iol: Those are great suggestions. Sometimes I break it down like that when its a complicated, multi step task. It does somehow feel less overwhelming that way.

Clever Elsie: I was not very productive or organized during my no-list week. Making a list or schedule of how I want my day to go before bed helps me function in the morning. I realize that. I think the no list week did help me realize that I am always putting too much on the list and the list should merely be a tool in life and not life itself.

And Teapot. Well, he dropped off the face of the earth much in the same fashion as Abstinent Admirer. And I am so OK with that although I was so OK with his company too.

Procrastination Free Living said...

Actually you have a good idea! that helps me my 24/7 life!! thanks and good job!! by the way I'm quiet addict in hooves of fire.. good luck!!!!!