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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Singlutionary Kicks Crazies to the Curb

Last week I wrote about finding a perfect roommate. And then I went and rented to a psycho. I spent the greater part of the last three days trying to manage said psycho until I finally kicked her out tonight in a whole bunch of Jerry Springer-esqe drama which was followed up by a trip around town trying to buy beer past midnight with one of the awesome roommates.

So. For next week I will write about what NOT to do when looking for a roommate and what to do when you have a crazy one that you need to get rid of (not that I have a ton of experience in this category but I have now kicked one lunatic out in the middle of the night).

Basically, I disobeyed rule #3: Trust Your Gut.

I took one look at this woman and thought: Oh Hell No!

But then I felt bad because she was fat and ugly and I felt like that was petty and judgemental of me to eliminate her based on looks.

The part where I went wrong is here: When you look at a person, you don't usually just see FAT or UGLY. The first thing that you typically notice about a person is their aura, their personality, their energy, their vibes. I know plenty of heavy people who don't look heavy to me. And plenty of less-than-beautiful faces which I would never ever think of as ugly.

This woman was ugly on the inside. Real ugly. She had a negative, ugly, crazy, piece of work demeanor. But I felt bad for judging her so I let her move in.

And immediately began to regret it.

There were so many moments where I could have and should have turned and run in the other direction. But I was trying to be positive. I thought: It is only for one week, how bad could it be.

BAD. Not fear for your life bad. But she definately disrupted my personal peace and the peace of the house. I had immense gut wrenching anxiety all day at work yesterday and today, fearing what I might come home to. She was crazy. Crazy people are scary because you don't know what they're going to say or do.

So the moral of this story is: Trust Your Gut, even if it says things which sound petty and rude. Trust it anyways.

The blessing at the end of this story is that I still have two awesome roommates who rallied around me. And I have two more ex-roommates and a sister who further rallied around me and tried to make me laugh during this whole ordeal. Now that it is over and my house and my roommates and my dog and my chickens are safe, there is plenty of humor in the whole story.

But more importantly, I will never override my gut again!


Special K said...

People surprise us, and I want to stress that many times, we can not do anything to prevent such ordeals. They teach you something, and this one is not "maybe I shouldn't have a roomate." Did you learn where to find beer after midnight? I agree with trusting your gut...too bad sometimes it is out to lunch.

Debbie(singlemom;complicatedworld) said...

What GREAT insight, that when we look at people we see their aura not physique!! It has taken me a long time to learn to trust my gut..actually still learning! glad it worked out!

Anonymous said...

I'm really glad you're fine and got rid of the crazy b..h that was stealing your cool. What did she do?

Last week I had to get rid of a date that went very wrong, the guy came over to my house, I was by myself, we argued and for a moment I felt very scared but acted calm (or so I think) 'cause I thought he was gonna loose it and beat me up, or something worse... I have been through domestic violence before and believe me that being punched and choked is no playground. Good that after a while he left. There are situations that can trigger a person's craziness or aggressiveness to the point where its merely actions without thought. This time I didn't follow my gut that was telling me: "This guy is a liar and non trustworthy". It was a huge mistake. Hope there's no next time but if there is, I WILL follow my gut and not put myself in risky situations.