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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Moments When it Does Suck to Be Single

I don't have many moments where being single sucks for me. I am not even phased by valentines day, for example. But tonight I had one. It isn't so much about having a shitty experience as a single as it is about having to do horrible something entirely alone and having no moral support or physical support or any kind of support.


My most recent moment where it pretty much sucked to be single:

Moving cat carcass from my driveway.

I really could have used some moral support but nobody was available. Could this have happened if I had a loyal loving husband? Yes. Totally. Loyal loving husbands are not always available either when icky things occur.

But tonight, for the first time in a long time, the following thought went through my head: :I really wish I had SOMEONE to help me deal with this".

This is a BIG cat. I was pulling my car out of the garage. It was dark but I saw something large and fluffy lying across the lower part of my driveway, almost at the street. I got out to investigate and sure enough it was the large cat that poops along my house. I don't mind cats pooping along the side of my house because I am rarely over there and I figure they ought to enjoy pooping in a place that I rarely frequent. So this cat, more like the size of a dog, is dead, at the bottom of my driveway in all his fluffy orange glory with a decent stream of blood flowing from his opened jaw.

I got back in my car and just sat there. I called my roommate to see if the cat had been there when she got home. I called my parents twice -- no answer.

Most of the time I know what to do about a situation pretty much immediately but this one had me stymied.

So I finally maneuvered out of the driveway, around the giant dead cat and went to the grocery store, thinking the whole time: "What are the logical steps to take in this situation."

I was pretty sure that moving a giant dead cat is a fairly unpleasant task.

I had gone through the dead pet process at Thanksgiving time with my roommate's hamster. But this isn't MY dead cat. I felt wrong moving another person's dead cat. But I also didn't want the cat's young owners to find it lying there in the morning. I also didn't want a neighbor to think that I had carelessly run over their cat while backing out of my driveway.

At a certain juncture, I finally quit freaking out, summoned my inner grown up, found an old towel and a big cardboard box and approached the dead cat.

And that is when I thought: "I really wish I weren't single right now. I really wish that there was someone to stand next to me while I try to pick up this giant dead cat carcass and place it somewhat ceremoniously in this empty toilet box."

I ended up having to scoot the cat into the box and then when I righted the box, the cat thumped to the bottom. Oh. It was a fairly awful experience. I then wrote notes to my two next door neighbors inquiring as to the ownership of the big orange cat. I did not put in the note that their beloved Garfield was now resting in peace in a cardboard toilet box with a cement block on the top to keep out the possums and stray dogs.

And that was my Saturday night Singlutionary adventure.


hebba said...

Oh, that sucks! I once ran over a cat but wasn't able to get it out of the road because it was night on a busy road and I would've ended up in a cardboard toilet box myself. The next day, I drove by just as the owners were picking him up out of the road. (a dad with a crying 10 or 11 year old boy) It sucked. I debated whether to stop and apologize but then decided that would probably just make it worse for them.

So sorry for your sucky Saturday.

Anonymous said...

Oh man. I'm sorry, lady. That's awful. Did anyone claim the cat? Mindy

Bananas Rosa said...

That's so terribly disgusting! Sorry that you had to go through that alone. I think I would be sick right away. When I see road kills I always wonder who picks them up? Or maybe nobody does 'cause they get run over again and again by cars until there's nothing left.

I feel sad for being single when somebody's a jerk to me and when I have money problems (like right now) because in my mind marriage or partnership is equivalent to that person protecting me in all sorts of ways. Lately I have had to cut down on grocery shopping, which is helping me loose weight! (that's the bright side) ;-)

Steve said...

Oh dear, don't feel bad. It had obviously used up all of its nine lives. We all have a time to go.
Had I have been there I would have gallantly removed the offending car from your driveway with the minimum of fuss. Still, you did it. Well done!

Debbie(singlemom;complicatedworld) said...

oh!! HOW awful!!! BUT, if thats the worst for you..and you have figured most of the rest out then you are an inspiration!I am still struggling with the darn air in the tires thing!! BUT I will get there...in time!!:)

Anonymous said...

Wow -- this totally shames MY "bad Onely activities" story, which I posted on Friday (about having to sort through my mountain of paper, which took me almost a week to finish). Sorry you had to deal with that, Singlutionary! It sort of reminds me of when I first moved into my apartment in Louisville and had to put all the furniture together. I got through all of it OK, except for the futon. The futon made me cry (and I will never forgive it).

Yup, some activities SUCK to have to deal with alone.

-- Lisa
(PS -- sorry we've been out of touch over at Onely; I'm finally getting to where I feel somewhat on top of my "real" life and can get back to reading all your wonderful stories!)

McCaffery said...

Hi, Singlutionary. I am aware that you might not "do" awards, but still, I wanted to pass this "Honest Scrap" award on to you, even though I don't know if you wanted any pictures of them in your site or on your sidebar. I wanted to mention you in my thing where I accepted it, since you are so honest, this post I am commenting on being one example. I also appreciate your following and comments too. So even if you don't "do" awards, know I appreciate your candor.
Have a nice day...

McCaffery said...

PS, but if you do like awards, enjoy! I didn't mean to assume you didn't want one in your site, just that I wasn't sure...

Stevi said...

That is awful, I'm sorry! Sometimes you really do want the emotional support and the "you clean this up" option. I don't think I could have done it so kudos!!

ConstanceB. said...

That sucks. I almost gagged while I reading the story. --- :-(

But kudos and hugs for you, for not waiting around for a man to rescue you or sticking in sorry relationships just for moments like that.

Megs said...

Ugh that sucks. I can just imagine what I would be thinking. I would probably also be wanting a boyfriend at that moment. However, we are all here giving you a pat on the back and sympathy. Hopefully you won't have to go through that single or partnered again.

The Singlutionary said...

WOW. I am so NOT alone as a single! Thank you everyone for this community of dead cat commiseration.

The cat was claimed by my across the street neighbor. She was devastated. She is a single woman in her 40s or 50s who lives alone and has so far not been very friendly to me. But she was grateful and took her cat in the toilet box home with her to burry. I offered to help her burry it. I didn't really know what to do. His name was CARLOS.