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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dear Abstinent Admirer

Dear Abstinent Admirer,

Obviously I have freaked you out. It has occurred to me that maybe you read my blog. I keep it pretty top secret and I've never mentioned it to you. But you have a magical intelligence and seem to know some pretty random things about the world so maybe you have uncovered the truth about me via Singlutionary.

I want to talk to you. You might be as rare as a Loch Ness Monster and as strange as Rainman but I still admire you. I admire your sense of humor, your discipline, your commitment to your values and your intelligence. I also respect your humility, your stability and your history. I love your totally sane yet entirely unconventional perspectives on the world. We might not be compatible as a couple or even as a potential couple. I love physical intimacy and I'm not sure I want to give that up for all eternity. I'm not sure I want to get married either. But we both raised younger siblings, more or less. We both seem set in our separate Singlutionary ways. And nobody can talk about my car the way you do. 

For a while we had this smart, funny, sweet and comforting emotional intimacy that I haven't enjoyed the likes of EVER with someone who didn't just want to get into my pants. Thank you for that. Thank you AND I want it back! I want to be friends. I want to go on walks and talk about your strange ways. And if you'd like we can talk about my strange ways too. I just freaking miss our friendship and when you come into the office all awkward and shy and acting like you'd rather be anyplace else it breaks my little Singlutionary heart.

Its OK if you don't want to snuggle with me before, during or after football games. We don't have to date or be boyfriend and girlfriend. You can look-but-not-touch all the college girls you want. But we ARE friends. I demand your friendship! I admire and respect and adore you. Period. As a human being. This is beyond romance and dating and "The Rules" and everything else that is lame about relationships. 

Abstinent Admirer, be my friend, again already, dang it. Forget about kissing and holding hands lets just hang out. 



The Peach Tart said...

Very heart felt. I hope he comes around.

Akirah said...

That's often the part you miss the most -- the friendship.

Welsh Girl said...

Perhaps you should say this to him, not to us??? What if he isn't reading your fabulous blog? I say rugby tackle him in the parking lot next time you see him and tell all. If he agrees with you then we love him too. If he runs a mile then he isn't the man you thought he was and you will be the better for knowing that....

Mar said...

Fellow single-person-homeowner here wondering about your house: specifically, how you negotiate having housemates. Now that I'm a homeowner considering getting a roommate, I thought I'd ask you if you'd consider writing about the single homeowner's guide to room/housemates? :)

The Singlutionary said...

I was so excited to have this new buddy that I really got along with and then, all of a sudden, he wouldn't even look me in the eye.

But, he MUST read the blog because yesterday he came into the office and was relaxed and friendly and everything was back to normal.

Welsh Girl: I couldn't say it to him because he seemed to be intentionally avoiding any alone time with me. He seemed scared out of his wits in my presence and wouldn't even look at me. He spent a lot of time gazing at the ceiling when he came into the office. So horrible!

Mar: That is a great idea. I will write about housemates as soon as Singles Week is over!