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Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Singlution Renewed

For a while I didn't have much to write about. I was busy adjusting to my new job and the new life that came with it. I've come to realize that it takes about 3 months (not three weeks) to really get adjusted to any new part of life and it takes about 3 years for a big new thing (like a new city or a new career or a new relationship) to feel normal.

Maybe that is why my relationships only last 3 months: I've never met someone that I'm willing to adjust to. I've also been told that the first 3 years of marriage are the hardest. 

But that isn't what I'm here to write about. At least, not today.

When I started this blog I was a brand new Singlutionary. I was so excited to have finally figured out that being single wasn't my fault or some deficit I needed to constantly be on the defensive about. Instead, being single, at any age and for any period of time is something to celebrate. There are many many many benefits to being single. Back in January, I was just learning how to count my blessings. 

Ten months later, I am still counting my blessings but the daily ins-and-outs of my shamelessly single life are so satisfactory that for a while I didn't know what to write about. Being Singlutionary doesn't seem so revolutionary anymore. 

But lately I've found myself having an affair with this blog. I meet up with it for lunch in the back room of my office. And then after a long day at work I come home and snuggle up with it in bed. This blog is my boyfriend. But it is my circle of friends too. The blogging community (both single and coupled) is always there for me and although I've never met so many of my wonderful blog friends face-to-face, I feel supported and loved every time I log on. I also appreciate the perceptiveness of my fellow bloggers, the interesting and beautiful things people have to say and the articulateness with which they have to say them.

I love being a voice in the singles blog world but for me, the days of "I'm so excited to be happy and single" are over. Instead I'm just happy and most of the time I forget that I'm single. Being single is just normal.

My life is still, to various degrees, shaped by my singleness but that is not all there is to me. So, I will continue to write about potential mates, about traveling alone, about attending weddings solo, about annoying comments from perpetually coupled friends. But I will also just write about my life, my family, my dog, my house, my friendships, my sad attempts at overcoming my desire to eat cake all day long (even when I am happy). 

So, in short. I am back and as Singlutionary as ever. In addition to more frequent posts, I'll be revamping my blog roll, updating the site, offering some giveaways, reviewing books and expanding my reach. But mostly I'll just be telling stories from my shamelessly single experience. 


Stevi said...

I love it. Whatever you choose to write about will be fabulous. You are a great writer.

I think the whole adjustment thing is so true. Once something is normal it's like 'what was the big deal?' This makes life nice we can adjust, become better, and overcome difficult things. And even when things seem to last forever, in the end you think 'that went by fast.' :)

kelleidoscope said...

Wait, is there something wrong with eating cake all day? :p

What you said about adjustments is true. Though I've found it easy to adjust to having a boyfriend. I also generally have no problem with being single.
And I've moved to a different state before, about 2,000 miles from my home of 19 years. It was an insane experience, and took me a long time to adjust. Eventually it happened though. I gradually got more comfortable driving around and making friends. It was a great experience!

Akirah said...

Good. I'm glad you're back and ready to rumble.

Jenn said...

I think this is a common process for a lot of us who consider ourselves 'happily single'. Won't it be a great day when *everyone* thinks being single is just as 'normal' as being coupled?

Purple Turtle said...

Yay Singlutionary! I love your blog!

Welsh Girl said...

Eating cake all day is wrong? When did that happen? Why didn't I know? Do I have to eat other things than cake now?

The Singlutionary said...

Hey everyone. I am glad to know that apparently eating cake all day is a normal human desire. I thought it was many a product of being brought up by a mom who worked part time at a candy shop and then working part time at a candy shop all through college. The candy was free. Groceries weren't. So to me, cake seems like a perfectly decent food. Until my pants don't fit.

Clever Elsie said...

Oh my gosh! The three-month honeymoon period! You've noticed it too! Not coincidentally, I've also noticed that three months is about the time it takes for a person's getting-to-know-you mask to come off.

I'm reminded of studies about happiness and what Bella DePaulo wrote about how that applies to marriage. A big event like a wedding can cause a small blip in happiness, but within a few months, our happiness levels usually return to baseline. Sounds like that's what happened to you with the exception that you were starting life as a single person instead of half a married couple. Totally normal!