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Sunday, September 5, 2010

Singlutionary Sunday

I've written twice before about the way I spend my Sundays.

I struggle between wanting to be restful, wanting to go on fun & active adventures and wanting to get all the stuff done that so desperately needs to get done but never does.

For the summer, I went with the "fun and active adventures" route. I coordinated activities and rallied the troops. It was fun. But it also left me unproductive during the week. I was either busy coordinating next Sunday's getaway or I was still recovering from the past Sunday's funday. Good times were had, new places discovered, conversations were had and new bonds were made and my horizons were broadened. It was wonderful.

But now I am broke and tired. So, for the past month, Sundays have been all about lounging around in my pjs and catching up on TV shows and doing pretty much nothing except resting so much that by the end of the day I am so ready for the week to begin again.

This week, partly out of necessity and partly because I was inspired by an insanely productive friend, I decided to have a slightly productive Sunday -- a hybrid adventure/restful/catching up day.

And it worked. Kinda. I am tired. But I did catch up which makes me feel less stressed about the week to come. I ran, I read, I gave myself a facial.

It was pretty much a day for myself.

Of course, I had to do some things that weren't tons of fun. But they were productive and made me feel relieved when finished.

Today wasn't really profound in and of itself. But it marks a sort of awesome recovery in my life. When I began this blog, I was writing in final attempt to pull myself out of the darkness that I had recently experienced. Being single and happy really was revelatory to me at that juncture.

Now, I live every day as a single and every day is just another day, another opportunity for rest or adventure or catching up. Or all of the above!


Natasha said...

Longtime lurker, first time poster.

I definitely get what you're talking about these days, so I try to stay in on Sundays. I try to use Saturdays to get it all in...including church! Sundays become the pj/newspaper/smooth jazz day. I still have time to hang with family and friends when the urge hits me. But Sunday is the only day that I really need to be by myself.

The Singlutionary said...

Thanks for lurking & posting Natasha!! We all need one day where we're not OBLIGATED to do anything. If I feel like doing something social, I will. Otherwise, I lounge around and do laundry and other simple -- low commitment thing.

I think that folks who don't have a lot of commitments during the week are able to get this time in small, more frequent doeses but my days are packed.

Special K said...

I think/fee/wonder if all relationships, particularly those with intimacy is about navigating times where you want more, he/she wants less and vice versa. I think it is figuring out WHAT you WANT that is the hard thing for me, not really the details about how to pursue it, if that makes sense.
What do I want?
I want someone to eat with, someone to be lazy with, someone to bitch about work with, someone to travel with, someone to put up with my curiosity and someone to think about and give to.
This person is 1) respectful of others 2) thinks before he says things 3) easy going ( I am NOT, so he must be) 4) nondefensive 5) intelligent, but doesn't need to prove it so.... 6) secure 7) financially stable 8) has hobbies that fulfill him 9) makes me want to have sex with him 10) patient (I am NOT, so he must be)

Do you WANT a relationship? I didn't for 6 years, and now I do...and I have been "dating" more since I pinpointed it.

The Singlutionary said...

Hi K! I've missed our conversations while I've been gone in the offline world.

I think for me, it was hard to separate what I want from a relationship and what the world teaches us to expect/want/receive from a relationship.

Many of the things I want in someone are lessons from what I do NOT want from previous relationships.

I could see how men might feel that they have to prove themselves around you in regards to intelligence. You are very smart and you have to find a guy who is so smart and so secure about it that he doesn't care that you might be smarter than him!!

Anyways, I am not sure I want a serious relationship right away -- I would like the next serious relationship that I have to last forever.

But I am enjoying having more men in my life. And all that they bring to the table.