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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My Holiday Card (in July)

I've been inspired by a great post over at The Spinster Chronicles. Spinster Leese wrote about receiving Christmas cards as a child and enjoying the updates from relatives and friends near and far and dreaming of writing her own one day. I enjoy this too. As a single person, it would be easy to think "Well, I've got nothing to write home about". But as a Singlutionary, I can't even wait for the holiday season. I am going to write my (summer season's greetings) holiday card right now:

Dear Friends and Family,

Its been quite a half year for the Singlutionary and I hope that your half year has been ripe with blessings as well. 

Singlutionary DOG is now eating a new kind of dog food which she much prefers and which is less expensive but just as nutritious. She escaped into the neighborhood three times this year and has not yet been run over by a Prius.

Meanwhile I went a got myself a full time job, installed two low flush toilets, built a chicken coop, picked out some young Singlutionary hens (with a little help from a friend) and met up with best-friend-since-kindergarten for a half day during which time we "ate and ate and then ate again" according to her 3 year old. I successfully got friends from another time zone to quit calling after 10pm (with a few exceptions of course). And I think (this may be premature) that my sister has forgiven me for whatever I did because she kindly allowed me to take her out for lunch and a margarita and to buy her a flamingo on her birthday. Haven't heard from her since. 
I welcomed a new roommate, met up with my mom in Canada, visited both my parents back in the homeland and will be attending the wedding of my cousin to "The Fanny Patter" next weekend. My (insane) ex-boyfriend quit trying to win me back by leaving kinkos-self-published books by his-truly on my doorstep or in my mailbox and he has finally been reported to the proper authorities by his other (ex) girlfriend. I attended a screening of the first full length movie I ever acted in and realized that I don't suck as much as I thought. I cut off all my hair and rekindled my love affair with water. I have not had sex this year and I'm not really bothered by this fact. Oh, and I started a blog.

Have a Singlutionary Summer!


OK. That was pretty cheesy.

But what is your list of accomplishments and new beginnings for the half year? What do you have to celebrate? What news do you want to shout from the rooftops? What have you overcome, overdone or overcooked since January 1st? What would your Summer Singlutionary card say?


The Peach Tart said...

I enjoyed reading that. It lets me learn more about you. My birthday is next week and I've been thinking of just such a list.

Kahnee said...

I'mm gonna have to piggy back off this post and write my own...

"I have not had bad sex this year" Hhahaa....

Anonymous said...

Hey - great minds think alike! ;-)

I do this for myself at the end of each year - not in a letter format but a 1 page summary of the year ... so that over time I can be reminded that a lot's happened .... etc etc.

Maybe this experiment of yours will be the first of many to come?!!

iol. singal

Stevi said...

I loved this! My greatest accomplishment since January...Walking again without crutches and getting rid of my limp and hitting the gym again!

The Singlutionary said...

I can now add to the list: Learned to be grateful for sleep after working two jobs for a month.

Peach Tart: Your list would be awesome. I hope you post it on your blog along with an accompanying xmas card style picture of you with Mr Peach tart and a can of peaches.

Kahnee: I dare you to send out an xmas card that says "2009 accomplishments: Good sex."

Singal: I am glad that I am not alone. I am realizing how much I enjoy reading other people's summaries which is prompting me to send out a year summary around my birthday this year. If I enjoy reading other folk's stuff, I am sure that they would enjoy reading mine.

Stevi: I am so proud of you!!! I love that accomplishment. It makes me want to jump for joy for you (and I hope you can jump for joy now too).

Queen Lindsay said...

My card would say, "Damn..I'm still single"

Clever Elsie said...

This immediately took me back to these annual Christmas updates my family used to get from a former co-worker of my mom's. The co-worker had long since lost touch with everyone from my mom's department but still sent out this Christmas letter to them all, year after year. The letters were always filled with over-the-top boasting about her perfect husband and her two perfect wunderkinds, so much so that they became a running joke among my mom and her colleagues. Every year they'd ask each other, "Did you get THE ____ FAMILY LETTER yet?"

Needless to say, yours is the perfect antidote to that--a letter celebrating your dog, your friends, your household projects, and your new job in singlutionary style! Love it!

Mine, well, I think it would say, "This year, I decided to stop looking for a husband because I realized I like being single better. So, unfortunately, you won't be hearing anymore amusingly cathartic dating stories from me, but you'll be hearing lots of happy ones instead!"

bobbyboy said...

Actually, I haven't even considered any accomplishments. I'm big on telling others, "Great job!", "Way to go!", "Hey, you should be proud of that!" etc, but horrible with doing the same for myself. Guess I should work on that, huh?

I celebrate life, love, smiles and making people feel good. Corny but true :)

"Dear everyone,
Life is grand! If you don't feel the same, let's work on that together."

Special K said...

Dear Anyone who may think I matter,

I have not had bad sex this year either...but I haven't had good sex as well...

But I've had lots of wine. Some bad, but mostly good

SpinningLeese said...

Thanks for linking to my blog Singlutionary! And I love the idea of the July Christmas card. I think I shall take a picture of myself with my Cervelo (that's my triathlon bike, aka my "baby") and send it in a card with my race results from the year 2009 and a summation of other important things I've done this year (good sex included!).

onely said...

Did you read David Sedaris' short story that is basically a holiday letter describing, in perky tones, what was really a crappy year for a dysfunctional family? I always wanted to write one of those. I like the idea of a mid-year letter. I'm not sure what I've done. I could probably describe sitting on the porch with the cat blinking at me. Oh wait, that's right, I started a blog too this year! Well, half a blog I guess.

The Singlutionary said...

Elsie: Growing up we had a family that wrote over the top xmas cards as well. I started calling them "The Overachievers" and we still wait for "The Overachiever" card every year. The kids are grown now and all settled with their kids/spouses/good jobs so there isn't as much to brag about. They still all manage to gather EVERYONE in front of the tree every year. Its kinda amazing.

Bobbyboy: I think you should brag about being a relationship guru and about being such a supportive and positive and thoughful person! You have lots to brag about!

Ah Special K: Thanks for pointing out the bad and the good and the average! Hahaha!

SpinningLeese: Is that why you're spinning? Because of the wheels? I think that is a fantastic accomplishment and like more traditional xmas cards, it gives the recipient something to know about you, to think of you doing when they wonder "I wonder what that girl us up to?"

Christina: Aren't you writing a novel and getting a MFA or something? I always get your and lisa's ambitions a little mixed up. OK. I just checked Onely and you have TWO graduate degrees in writing. And you write a wildly loved blog. So your cat is actually blinking at you in disbelief because you are kinda super-human.